The Science of Success Podcast

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A Beginner's Guide To Body Language & Nonverbal Communication with Joe Navarro

Lace Gilger
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In this episode we break down the complex and confusing world of body language and nonverbal communication. We discover the easiest starting point for learning the basics you need to know to get started with reading and understanding body language and we dig into the specific tools and strategies you can start using right away to not only decode the body language of others, but also change your own body language to communicate what you want. We explore all this and much more with our guest Joe Navarro. 

Joe Navarro was approached to join the FBI while working as a police officer at the age of 23. He spent the next 25 years at the FBI working as both an agent and a supervisor in the areas of counterintelligence and counterterrorism. Since retiring in 2003 Joe has written several best selling books on human behavior most recently The Dictionary of Body Language: A field Guide To What Every Body is Saying. His work is frequently featured on programs such as The Today Show, Fox News, Good Morning America, and more!

  • How do we breakdown the maze of nonverbal communication and cues and use them to understand and influence others?

  • Nonverbals are everything other than spoken communication - body language, clothes, cars, pens, accessories, etc 

  • You can use nonverbal cues to deeply understand other people, their behaviors and desires 

  • Does the logo on your sweater impact whether people are willing to help you or not?

  • Human beings are incredible sensitive to small changes in nonverbal cues

  • How do you crack the nut of nonverbal communication and break into such a complex and confusing field?

  • The most simple way to understand human body language is to break it down in to the basic categories of “comfort” and “discomfort”

  • Nonverbal communication takes place at the speed of light

  • We are always transmitting, we’re always being examined, people are assessing us the minute we come into view

  • What image are you presenting to the world? Someone who is confident or someone who is shy and insecure?

  • It’s not about “faking” your body language -its about what “role” or “image” you want to portray to other people

  • The more senior you are in an organization - the broader your gestures should be - and the smoother they should be

  • A “hack” you can use to overcome fear and self defeating body language

  • What are some specific tactics and strategies you can go out and use on your own to learn how to read other people’s body language right now?

  • Easy signs of discomfort to spot and teach yourself to view:

  • Eye touching / eye covering - a powerful phenomena that can even be seen in blind children 

    1. Lip compression is a very good indicator that something is wrong - someone is struggling with something or worried about something

    2. Jaw shifting - sign of struggle / difficulty

    3. Neck touching - welcome tend to touch the base of their neck with their finger, men tend to grab their necks or massage their necks

    4. Ventilation behaviors - pulling on your shirt, lifting up your hair - shows difficulty or struggle

  • It’s much harder to spot positive behavior than negative behavior 

  • Negative nonverbal impressions can last for a very long time - its very important to give a positive nonverbal impression on someone - they will remember a negative one for a long time 

  • Handshake

    1. Personal Space

  • If you stand at an angle, people will listen to you for a longer period of time

  • Everyone is in the people business - what are the things that you look for that are appealing?

  • People who are friendly

    1. People who smile

    2. People who take the time to talk to you - even just 15 seconds to chat with someone for a second

    3. Make a kind comment 

    4. Flashing your eyebrows is a GREAT way to say hi to someone 

  • Tilting your head slightly to the side is one of the best ways to build rapport with people

  • When things are very stressful - the best leaders slow everything down, they command space and time and their own behavior to pacify everyone

  • Be sensitive to others - what are their needs, wants, desires, and fears?

  • The feet are the most honest part of the body - how you can read people’s feet to understand what they’re telling you 

  • When they’re something we don’t like our feet will immediately turn away from it

  • The limbic system in the brain - the “lizard brain” - is responsible for our survival and triggers many of these subconscious nonverbal reactions

  • Try this out at a meeting or cocktail party - pick out a behavior, observe it, and see if you can learn to watch for it

  • Once you train yourself in these skills - it runs like software in the background of your life and applies to every interaction you have with someone 

  • What’ s your curbside appeal today? How can you update it to present a better image to other people?

  • It’s very difficult to detect deception in someone’s body language - the story of the parking ticket 

  • Far too often we can see behaviors but not know their true cause 

  • How can we use nonverbal communication to influence other people? 

  • Easy strategies for influencing others with nonverbals

  • Grooming

    1. Good manners

    2. Movement

  • Exercise to try out: "Sell me this pencil, without saying a word” - you’re not selling the object, you’re selling how you feel about the object. 

  • Point with your full hand, palm open, to be less intimidating

  • All actors rehearse - it’s no different with the nonverbal personas you want to use to interact with people

  • When you begin to break down these little nonverbal cues - you start to realize that they all affect you and others around you

  • Homework: watch as people are reporting on the stock market on a good and bad day and watch their nonverbals

  • Homework: watch a TV show with the sound off and see if you can pick out what’s going on from just the nonverbal cues

  • Homework: 3 starting behaviors to look for 

  • Look for eye blocking/eye closure

    1. Look for lip compression & jaw shifting

    2. Look for neck touching 

    3. Notice when it happens, how it happens, what questions were asked, and how people answer - build that into your repitoirs and the expand your skills

Thank you so much for listening!

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