The Secret Science of Lies & Body Language with Vanessa Van Edwards
In this episode we discuss how school gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life, the best starting point for build nonverbal communication, how to read facial expression and body language to discover hidden emotions, how to become a human lie detector, the secrets super connectors use to work a room, and much more with Vanessa Van Edwards.
Vanessa Van Edwards is the lead investigator at Science of People, a human behavior research lab. She is a Huffington Post columnist and published author. Her work has been featured on NPR, Business Week and USA Today. She has written for CNN, Fast Company and Forbes. Her latest book, Captivate, was chosen as one of Apple’s Most Anticipated Books of 2017.
We discuss:
School gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life
The skills of nonverbal communication can be learned and trained
Between 60% and 90% of our communication is non-verbal
Why you shouldn’t put 100% of your eggs in the “verbal communication” basket
How humans give more weight to non-verbal communication
What is the best starting point for build nonverbal communication?
The importance good eye contact & a strong handshake
Why eye contact creates oxytocin and builds deeper connections
The “sweet spot” for maintaining good eye contact
What blind babies teach us about our facial expressions and the universality of much nonverbal communication
How twins separated at birth have the same nonverbal affectations
What are micro-expressions and why they are so important
The facial feedback hypothesis and how our faces create a feedback loop
The 7 micro-expressions that will change your life
Research from mental patients who lied to their doctors
How to read facial expression (or body language) to discover hidden emotions
The “fake science” myths around human lie detection
The statistical cues to deceit - things that liars most often do
Do “truth wizards” exist?
Average person is 54% accurate in detecting lies
What is baselining?
Encoding vs Decoding
What research on thousands of hours on TED Talks tells us about successful body language & the importance of congruency
Most people are better at decoding than encoding - start with what you are weakest at
We cannot cover up what we feel, focus on opportunities where you can thrive instead of places where you are merely surviving
“The secrets of super-connectors,” how to “work a room” and the specific patterns they use
How to be someone’s "social savior”
"Context conversation starters”
You learn ALOT about someone from a handshake
Handshakes produce more oxytocin than 3 hours of face to face time
Make the handshake equal (firmness and direction)
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SHOW NOTES, LINKS, & RESEARCH
[Ted Talk] Trust, morality — and oxytocin? by Paul Zak
[Paul Ekman Article] Micro Expressions
[Science of People Quiz] Spotting Lies
[Book] Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 by Vanessa Van Edwards
[Book] Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards
[Website] Science of People