In this episode, we talk about Emotional Intelligence. What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter so much? How the science demonstrates that emotional intelligence matters far more than IQ, how you can develop and improve your “EQ”, how to build the muscle of focus, and much more with Dr. Daniel Goleman.

Daniel is a co-founder of the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. He currently co-directs the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University. He is the international best-selling author of several books including Primal Leadership, Focus, and Emotional Intelligence which has been translated into over 40 languages.

WE DISCUSS:

• What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter so much?

• The 4 pillars of emotional intelligence

• Is IQ or EQ more important, which correlates more with success?

• Why IQ is more of a threshold, and EQ scales more with people’s actual results in the world

• How the science of “competence modeling” demonstrates that emotional intelligence matters far more than IQ, the more successful you become

• Which of the four pillars of EQ do people struggle with the most?

• The 3 varieties of empathy - cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and empathic concern

• The mental exercises you can do to strengthen certain brain circuitry required to build emotional intelligence

• How to cultivate and strengthen emotional self control

• What the science say about ways to strengthen the prefrontal cortex around controlling your amygdala

• The mind is a muscle and basic repetition strengthens your circuitry

• The hard science behind how to cultivate a positive outlook

• The ventilation fallacy and why venting your anger is actually bad for you

• The more you rehearse an emotion, the stronger the underlying brain circuitry becomes

• The incredible power of seeing your thoughts as thoughts and nothing more

• How to step back and assess your thoughts by asking “Is this helpful?"

• The power of distraction to shift your thoughts away from anxiety and depression

• How Dr. Goleman defines FOCUS and why it's so important

• How focus and attention are muscles and cultivating them can help strengthen your underlying brain circuitry

• The difference between rumination and reflection - and why reflection is so important

• How a Power Nap can restore your brain

• How to restore your attention and focus when you find yourself at wit’s end and cannot focus anymore

• What is PRIMAL Leadership and why is it so important?

• Why the crucial competencies you need to develop EQ and emotional intelligence are all learned abilities

• How to give positive feedback and constructive criticism - the right way and the wrong way - don’t attack the PERSON - don’t trigger the negative circuitry, trigger a positive outlook

• Why managing your own negative emotions is the FIRST STEP towards cultivating emotional intelligence

• Step back from your thoughts and ask yourself - is this useful? Cultivate self-awareness

Thank you so much for listening!

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SHOW NOTES, LINKS, & RESEARCH

• [Book] Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

• [Book] Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

• [Book] Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E. P. Seligman

• [Profile] Culture of Empathy - Tania Singer

• [Profile] Max Planck Institute - Tania Singer

• [Review Paper] Competencies and Competency Model by Nitin Vazirani

• [Profile] David McClelland and Competencies

• [Website] Crucial Competence Suite for Leaders, Coaches, and Organizations

Episode Transcript