In this episode we discuss why the “happiness” movement has done us a disservice and sometimes makes things worse, how perfectionism creates an illusion of control and distorts your reality, how to become aware of the critical inner voice at the root of your pain and unhealthy habits, the incredible power of self compassion, and much more with Megan Bruneau.

Megan Bruneau is a psychotherapist, wellness coach, writer, podcast host and creator of oneshrinksperspective.com After years of perfectionism-fueled depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, she discovered how to like herself, take risks, and find success without beating herself up to get there. 

• Why Megan advocates a holistic approach to mental health

• Why the “happiness” movement has done us a disservice and sometimes makes things worse

• How to become aware of the critical inner voice at the roof of your pain and unhealthy habits

• What your “secondary emotions" are and why its so important to pay close attention to them

• How you internalize self judgement from your childhood experiences

• You can have expectations about mood not just performance and that can create suffering

• The importance of giving yourself permission to feel feelings even when they are uncomfortable

• What your physiological symptoms look like when you experience a fight or flight response

• How to build tolerance and grow your “emotional muscle”

• The tools you can use (with a concrete example) to stop a downward spiral of anxiety

• Things you might do that actually make a negative emotional response worse

• The importance of making space for difficult feelings ( through mindfulness )

• How to have deep self compassion and treat yourself with kindness

• What exactly to say to yourself when you’re dealing with difficult emotions

• Why you should treat yourself like a dear friend who is suffering

• How the “self esteem” movement screwed you up and created many of your emotional challenges

• What happens when your self worth is dependent on being better than other people

• How Megan defines perfectionism (and why you might be a perfectionist without even realizing it)

• The critical importance of self compassion and how you can practice it

• The importance of understanding the concept of "common humanity"

• We define mindfulness and its core components, and discuss how to practice it

• Why painful feelings don't make you broken, but are a natural part of the human experience

• The huge downsides of having your self worth tied to your achievements

• Why your fear of difficult and uncomfortable emotions is the roof of your suffering

• The exact internal dialogue you should use if you constantly put too much pressure on yourself

• The massive danger of “globalizing” negative experiences

• Why giving up high expectations actually enhances your performance

• Why you should change for your focus from being productive to focusing on what’s meaningful

• How you can “become friends” with difficult emotions

• And MUCH more!

If you are frustrated, suffering, or struggling with uncomfortable emotions, listen to this episode!

Thank you so much for listening!

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SHOW NOTES, LINKS, & RESEARCH

• [Book] The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert PhD

• [Book] Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff

• [Website] One Shrink’s Perspective

• [Personal Site] meganbruneau.com

• [Book] When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

• [Website] Mindful Self-Compassion, Christopher Germer, PhD

• [SOS Episode] How To Put Your Body In Relaxation Mode, Reduce Stress, and Develop Body Awareness with International Yoga Expert Tiffany Cruikshank

• [Amazon Author Search] Alan Watts Book Catalogue

• [Video] “You’re It” by Alan Watts

• [Video] The Dream of Life by Alan Watts

• [Video] We Are All Connected ft. Sagan, Feynman, deGrasse Tyson & Bill Nye

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT